I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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