i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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