Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
