He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize