Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
