Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
