The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Do vagina's smell?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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