if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
