i just wanna soil my oats bro
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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