Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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