I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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