i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
