Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
