just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
