I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i believe in u and ur pee
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
