She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Im part way to drunk.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
