when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
