Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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