im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
