i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
