You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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