I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
