I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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