i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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