your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
