there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
