What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
