The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
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