I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
