As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
