I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
