Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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