bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
