i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
