I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Are my feet made of real feet?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
