No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
