I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
