i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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