So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
