I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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