he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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