She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Randomize
