so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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