you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
