I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
