I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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