i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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