I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just gargled with NyQuil
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
