During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Come on in and take your pants off
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
