You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
