She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
