I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The adults are the big ones right?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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