I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
