Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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