waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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