ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
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