he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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