At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
