OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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