I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
